One last post...

I have been silent and away from this thing for some time and I owe you all an apology and an explanation...

I fucked up. Plain and simple. I made a mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life and lost the most important person in it. I let my anger get the best of me and said "fuck you, go to hell" to someone I swore I would never hurt. There is no pain greater than that which I feel right now. It pulses through me like lava burning my veins the way my love for her used to. It tears at my soul and bashes against my ribs, ripping me apart. I have said I was sorry and I cannot say it any other way. The worst part is that it is all my fault, dear readers. She loved me. She never said it, saving it like a gift that I had to earn, but i believe she did. I couldn't see past my own fears and insecurities to embrace that love. I wanted to hear it but I couldn't do what was necessary to earn that.

I hurt her again and again and she took it. She took it until she couldn't take it anymore and she gave up on me. If she only knew how I felt right at this moment. It probably wouldn't change anything though. It is too late. The most important person in the world to me is gone. She was my inspiration. She was my love. She was my life.

So, dear faithful readers, I am closing this blog. Everything in it reminds me of her and I just cannot take it. I don't know when I will write again. I don't know what the next few weeks, months, or even years will hold for me. I do know that I will never love another like I loved her.

I will be finishing Ishmael and I will be publishing it. I will post here one final time to let you all know where you can get it. After that, it is done.

Goodbye, dear, faithful readers. Please take care of yourselves and know that I truly enjoyed entertaining you.

-J.C.-

Today was...

Kind of rough, actually. I have been trying everything I know to get people to pay their bills. For those who do not know, until this writing thing takes off, I am working as a collections manager in a company that has the crappiest customers I have ever seen. They lie to me, avoid my calls with a passion, and when I finally do get them on the phone, they hang up on me when they find out who I am. If there is one thing that I really hate, it is to be hung up on. My boss is under a lot of pressure from his boss to get the money and I understand that so I am not mad, it can just be so stressful sometimes.

As far as the writing is going, I know I have been slacking a bit but I have been going through a crisis and I haven't really felt like doing a lot of anything. Do not despair, faithful readers. The crisis is over, for the most part, and I am finally getting my lazy ass back on track. I have just been under a lot of stress, partly from my job, partly from an unknown source of depression which has set upon me with a fiery fierceness. I  have never been one to give two shits about myself or what happened to me. That was, until I met Misu. She has done so much for my self esteem and made me such a better person that I cannot thank her enough. So, I should be able to finish all of my edits by the weekend and should have the book out for you by the end of next week. Trust me, I am as ready to get it out to you as you are to read it.

That is all for now, dear, faithful readers. Until next time,

Your faithful entertainer,

John aka Misu's Puppy.

I should really come up with more interesting things to say on this blog, I think.

I finished all of the minor edits today on the book and now all I have is a couple of scenes to write and then I will send it off to the wonderful people that have offered to give it a read over for me. When they get finished and I am sure it is up to par, off the the presses. Well, actually, it will be off to the computer where I can upload it, but you get the idea. =D

Other than that it has been a pretty uneventful day. I did find out that I have a bunch of computer games that I had forgotten about when I decided to give this writing thing a go full time and sat up until three this morning playing them. I am such a child, I know, but sometimes it does a soul good to get away from the real world for a while. Video games are my past time, what's yours?

Until next time faithful readers,

Thank you,

John aka Puppy

Tomorrow...

..... is going to be a very busy day, I think. I am going to be working very hard on getting this book finished and ready for you, dear readers. I will be balancing that with the interview with the great writer I was telling you all about. Whew! Even on my days off, I don't get a day off.

I have commissioned a few volunteers to read my new book and give me their perspectives on it. I hope that their contributions will be what I am looking for. It is actually a sweet deal for all involved. They get a free advance copy of my book and I get free reviews. Nice, huh?

The weekend is getting closer and it seems as though the days are dragging by. I am so incredibly excited and anxious to see Misu that I could explode right about now. I have a few plans for her and I think we will be able to get some things (mostly my hangups) resolved. We will see.

Until next time dear, faithful readers,
Thank you for your patience and encouragement.
John aka Misu's Puppy

I promise...

To have my book out by the end of July. I finally got it back from the editor and I have the entire day off Wednesday so I will be working my tail off to get it to you guys. I have read over the edits and and very pleased with the work he does and even more pleased at the ideas he has contributed to the book. So i am making a pledge to you, dear readers: The end of July or I will give it to you for free.

In other news, I am really settling into my new job. I am learning a lot and making very few mistakes. I like my boss and the people I work with and enjoy my job very much.

The weekend is coming ad you all know what that means. MISU!!!! Yes, I will be spending more time with my sweet, beautiful Misu and will have her all to myself. What does that mean for all of you? Unfortunately, it means that I will be posting very little here, if anything at all, and that I will not be working on any new stories unless inspiration absolutely clobbers me on the head.

So until next time, dear, faithful readers; Thank you!
You faithful entertainer,
John aka Puppy.

It's so close

I know I have been teasing you guys relentlessly about the release of my first book but I promise it isn't far away. In the mean time, I have contacted a great author and we are in the final stages of putting our heads together for the Q&A swaps. I will have his interview done and posted by the end of the week.

The non-smoking is going better than I thought it would. I figured by now that I would have gone on a rampage but I am still pretty calm. It helps to have a support system like Misu. One more positive influence she is making on my life.

This is going to be really short because I have a major headache and the glow of the screen is only serving to enhance my pain. So, until next time,

Thank you dear, faithful readers;
Your grateful entertainer,
J.C. aka Misu's Puppy

The first day...

of the rest of my life starts today. I have talked to Misu and I am going to work my ass off to accomplish, not one, but two amazing feats. I have been cheating with my smoking and, starting today, I am quitting, even if it kills me (irony?). I haven't had one all day and I have fought temptation tooth and nail, trust me. My mom smokes, so it is very difficult to say no when she is so willing to share her cancer with me.

I am also starting a very strict diet which Misu is helping me with as well. 1500 calories a day. Am I crazy you ask? Yes, a little. I am also determined not to die like so many others have, painfully. It is going to be hard and I know that it would probably be better to try to quit one then the other but I am a fucking lunatic and a masochist so I am going to attempt both at the same time.

In other news, I am in talks with a very good writer about swapping Q&A's. What that means, for those who do not know, is that I will be sending him a list of interview questions and he will answer them and send them, along with his own, back to me. Then we will post them to our respective social networking sites and blogs (like this one)  so that our fans (you guys) can get a better idea of who we are. Sound good to you guys? So look for that.

If any of you guys have any questions that you want me to answer, please send me an email. I love hearing from you.

Until next time dear, faithful readers:
Thank you,
John aka Misu's Puppy